Monday, November 16, 2015

Happily Unmarried in 5...4...3...2..

(Not the photo I had wanted, but he refused to take a selfie with me)
So.  Along with quilting and book ideas and Get Started Quilting promotions, this past year I've also spent a lot of time and energy on another project.  Costas and I have undertaken the enormous task of untangling our lives and becoming "unmarried".  If you have undergone a similar process, you have some idea of what all this entails.  Some days I clung to quilting, other days I couldn't do much more than cry and grieve.  This is a process of growth, self examination, forgiveness and above all, self love.  It wasn't easy to say "no" to my old life in order to feel comfortable saying "yes" to myself, but it was necessary, and I do feel much healthier on this new path.

The past several months have been full of what seemed like limitless uncertainty.  I'm happy that things finally seem to be falling into place, or, the options now seem somehow more manageable.  I have a new place to live, I can sink deep into the comfort of a job I love, and soon a new routine will give life shape again.  Once I unpack and set up a new sewing space (I'll be joining the ranks of kitchen table quilters!), I may even have time, space and emotional energy to post stuff again.


If you also feel the need to grieve the end of my marriage, please do so, but I will ask that you respect this space and my process.  Most days I do not feel sad and I have dealt with a lot of the anger that comes with this change.  Your expressions of regret and "I'm sorry"s really don't help me much.  Your kindness, attention and support on the other hand, I don't know how I'll get through the future without them.  I love this community and have missed its comfort.  I went through incredible emotional upheaval but didn't feel comfortable talking about it here until now.  I look forward to sharing all of my healing quilts and using both the quilting process and the act of sharing them with you to help me along the way.

Comments are open but I probably can't reply to all of them.  If you'd like to contact me by email, you are welcome to do that too-- jessunderquilts at gmail
But please be patient with me, I just moved this past weekend and I've got a lot to juggle right now.
Thanks for being with me through this.
xoxo

p.s. Oh, and.. I got a cat.


25 comments:

  1. I look forward to seeing the quilts ahead. The cat is such a good idea. The purr of a cat is very therapeutic. (I wish my apartment would allow me to get one!)

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    1. Thanks Pamela. I looked long and hard for an apartment that allowed both cats and kids (yes, I got turned down because of my KIDS-- I am pretty sure that's illegal, but the apartment may have been an illegal rental as well). She's sweet, very affectionate, and I hope she isn't tearing the place apart while I'm at work...

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  2. I'm happy you're happy! Sounds like lots of positive changes and I'm sending you love, also cute cat!! Xx

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    1. Thanks Lucy. I am happy and it feels really good. xoxo

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  3. I'm not sure it's legal to post that you got a cat but not tell us it's name. Also, I have progress on my pink hexies quilt and one day I might post a star count! Or finish the dang thing already.

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  4. Good for you. Things will be much better as you get into the routine of things and adjust to your new digs. What a great idea to get a kitty to help enjoy life. I do love your post title. Very clever.

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  5. What a beautiful cat! And I love the photo of him/her on your quilt xx

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  6. Great cat. You have a good attitude. I look forward to seeing your future work. Hugs to you as you move forward.

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  7. Hugs and prayers for you and the boys as you find your new balance. I've been there, too. Do something that brings you happiness every day. Kitty purrs work wonders, too.

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  8. Sounds like you are finding out how strong you are...won't be easy, but you will get through it and be stronger and better for it. Hugs to you and your little ones!

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  9. What a great space you will have & I love your kitty!

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  10. Been there too. It does get better even if it doesn't feel like it at the time.

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  11. Thank you for trusting us with your changes. I'm writing this with a cat in my lap who must be a distant cousin of yours, and I can attest to what good company she is.

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  12. I wish you all the best in your new apartment for this new chapter of your life, and look forward to seeing more of your quilts (and your cute cat!) in time.

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  13. My other half has been married twice before. If he hadn't moved on then he wouldn't have found me....and happiness for the past 18 years. Though we've not tempted fate, so we are not married! Hope you find happiness in your new life x

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  14. The only way in life is going forward, not still standing.
    I love your New home, looks Very cozy and the light between the windows. ...it's perfect for new inspirations in life and quilting.
    And your kitty looks very nicely.

    Greetings from germany from me, daily i take a look in your lovely book, and every time i'm inspired.
    Stella

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  15. Somr days will be good, some days will be not so good... but in time you will find your way to a new normal and what is best for you!! Cry if you have to, laugh when you can!! I pray you have the support you need!! Keep your head up and you can do anything!!

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  16. Here's to you and your cat and your new life !! Cheers !

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  17. if you feel like taking a poll of your readers, I'm raising my hand "been there too" lol. One of the perks is the answer to the dreaded "whats for dinner" question. the answer: "whatever I want! ..poptarts and pizza eggrolls? yesss I think I will". Hope you find joys in your journey.

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  18. I wish you all the best in this new chapter of your life.

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  19. Wishing you lots of love and hugs as you start this new chapter in your life. Look forward to seeing your new sewing area and what you create with the help of the new fur-baby :)

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  20. Best wishes for this new phase in your life x

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  21. Your new place looks great! Sounds like it is an exciting new adventure and I wish you lots of love and laughter!

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  22. As my dentist said to me when I was going through my divorce: I'm sorry and congratulations. <3 <3 <3

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  23. your kitty look like my Phoebe. heres to a new life and new beginnings.

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